When reality smacks your New Years goals

Anyone else get fired up before New Years? I never allowed myself to do that before because I know how the story goes. You talk a big game all through the month of December; “I’m going to work out every day starting January 1st”, or I’m going to start on that project I’ve been meaning to do”. Easy to say while you’re planted on your couch, online shopping and eating aunt Susan’s famous peppermint fudge. What happens when reality smacks you in the face?

This was the first year I’ve ever really set big dreams and goals for myself, and I was PUMPED. Two weeks in though, my baby decided it was a good time to pop a tooth… and then I got sick… and then my child care fell through… and then someone got shot right across the street from the daycare I was considering… and to top it all off my husband is a CPA so now through April 15th he is useless for anything that doesn’t involve a tax return. Well shoot. Maybe next year.

Wait NO.

If you haven’t read Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, you’ve been living under a rock and it’s time to come out. No, but really. She has a whole chapter about the difference between her and someone else who’s tried to do the same things and failed, is not taking no for an answer. It is gold on a page!

So what is one to do? I have to pull myself out of this rut. As a result of doors being closed, I’m just sitting in a hallway pouting, when I could be using that time and space to prepare myself for whatever’s next. I had a goal to get lots of continuing education this year and grow my business. But now that I have to cut back even more, what’s the point? Instead of thinking like that, I’ve decide to use this time more wisely. Being that I am taking fewer clients currently, I have more time to devote to education so that when I get back into taking more clients, I am ready to put everything I’ve learned into practice, and serve them better than ever.

I also had a goal to figure out what I’m doing with this blog. I would love to see momma’s all over my local area supporting one another, and being real together. So I’m viewing this as an opportunity to really connect with the woman around me in a way I haven’t had the time or the courage to do in the past, and I’m really excited about that.

I know it can seem confusing and discouraging when God closes doors that you thought he was leading you through, but I trust His plan. It’s really freeing to kind of throw your hands up and give it to Him. In my experience God’s plans for us are bigger and greater than we could ever imagine. So it’s okay if you don’t understand exactly why things are happening, or aren’t happening. He does, and that’s really where I lean in times like this. I’m also a big fan of being present, and finding joy from the moment that you are in right now. This verse says it better-

James 1:2-3

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”

If you are in a place like me, where you were fired up for change this year, just to have life push you back down. I have 3 questions that you can ask yourself.

  • 1. How much control do I have over this situation?

  • •If the answer is- Complete control; meaning I can change my circumstances, but it will take more effort and will power on my part.
  • I would encourage you to just do it. Yep, Nike has it right. Showing up is half the battle. You know this is you if you’re saying things like “It’s just hard to find the time”. Girl if you’re reading this right now, you have the time. Think really hard about the amount of time you spend on your phone, in front of the tv, or sipping your 3rd cup of coffee in the morning.
  • Another thing I recommend is planning it into your day. These days if it’s not in my planner, it doesn’t happen. 6:30am will never just roll around and you’re like, you know? I should get my work out in. You’ll make an excuse; “I’m too tired” or “The kids will be up soon”. But if you carve out a special time dedicated to that work out, it’s much more likely to happen.
  • •However, if the answer is- Some control, or no control; meaning your circumstances are mostly out of your control, and you cannot change them. Maybe you have no child care, or you don’t have enough money right now.
  • In this instance I would say, do what you can right now. You have 24 hours today, what can you do with it? Maybe you would like to go back to school but you’re waiting until your kids are older. Right now, you can brush up on your typing skills, read more books; exercise your brain so that when you’re ready to go back to school, your brain hasn’t forgotten how to do activities that don’t include bubbles and play dough. Whatever your goal is, find small ways to work towards it with what you have. You will find yourself feeling more fulfilled, as well as setting yourself up for success in the future.
  • 2. How bad do I want this?

  • •First off, find your why. Why do I want to go back to school? Why do I want to get in shape? Why do I want to write a blog? Or play this instrument? Literally whatever it is, I’m guessing there is a why behind it. When you find that why, that’s how you keep going. Every morning if you wake up and remember, “I want to look and feel great”, then that work out will be so much easier to get through.
  • •And if there’s not, you probably don’t really want it as bad as you think you do. If your why is, “because I feel like I am supposed to”, then stop right now. You will never succeed in being someone you’re not. If you feel like good wives cook fancy meals and you have to learn to cook better, but you hate cooking, you’re going to be miserable and you’re going to fail. Find what lights your soul on fire and do that. It is a beautiful thing when someone finds their passion, and you can see it from a mile away. But forcing yourself to do something just because you feel like you should, is wasting time you could be spending on the things that matter to you.
  • •If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know exactly what your passion is, or what your goals are, I would just encourage you to think, pray, and reflect on what is important to you. Eventually something will come to mind.
  • 3. How will my life look different when I implement this new thing?

  • •Be it a job, a work out routine, a skill; whatever it is, have a vision. Manifesting and visualizing the end result is more powerful than you think. You can kind of work your way backwards to figure out what steps you need to take if you know what you’re working towards. Writing it down, or making a vision board are helpful ways to do this.

  • I encourage you ladies, chase your dreams, don’t take no for an answer, trust the process, and enjoy the moment. Right now I’m enjoying every moment with my little man while I wait for our “what’s next”.

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