Dear Gavin

The baby book asked me to write this letter to you while I was still pregnant, but you’re 6 months old and here we are.

Time sure flies. You’ll be a grown man reading this one day, but right now I’m rocking you in my arms. You fell asleep but I don’t want to put you down because I know our nights like this are numbered.

I don’t know what kind of momma I’ll be to you yet. I’m still figuring it out. I don’t know if I’ll make all the right decisions, or the wrong ones. Or how I’ll be present enough with you in a world where a million other things are grabbing for my attention.

I don’t know yet if giving you vaccinations is good or bad, or if I’m reading enough books to you. If I will be overprotective? Or if I will give you space to make mistakes and grow.

When you’re learning to walk, I hope I will be right there to catch you. I hope I cheer you on as you learn each new thing at your own pace. I hope you won’t see me cry when I drop you off at school for the first time, and for the last time.

I hope I will always support you in whatever it is that you love doing. I hope I can answer all of your questions, and teach you everything I know. Guiding you where you need it, without preventing you from being exactly who you are.

I pray that you will always know that my love for you is unconditional, and that you can come to me with anything. I pray that Jesus’ love would shine through you, and to everyone around you.

The thing I know for sure is that you will always be my favorite first born child 😉 You are so wanted and loved. I prayed for you before I even conceived, and all the while God knew it would be you. And I’m so grateful for that, my precious boy, I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. I am already proud of who you are going to be.

I know the phase of life that you’re in right now is merely a page in a chapter of the book, but in this moment it is everything. I know that right now every cry is a chance to show you that I will always be here. Every giggle is confirmation that I’m doing something right.

I wish time would stand still, but you’re getting a little bigger and more independent every day. If you remember one thing about your childhood, I hope it’s that you were loved.

I love you forever,

your momma

2 thoughts on “Dear Gavin

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